How does one celebrate Mother’s Day? You try a bowl of a cereal that your mother would tell you to eat. I’ve long had a hate-hate relationship with Grape-Nuts, because it tasted awful to me as a child and it made me question whether I have a refined enough palate as an “adult.” My introduction to the cereal occurred when I was around 6 years old. I remember when I would stay over at my grandma’s that she would eat a bowl of Grape-Nuts each morning. One day I wanted to try it. That day could have been the genesis of my enjoyment for sweet, sugary, unhealthy, cartoon character cereal. At that time, I vowed I’d never eat Grape Nuts again, but here we are today. The things we do to generate content for a blog.

Aesthetics

The box is more friendly than I remember from the 80s and early 90s. The only thing grape about the cereal is the box. At a quick glance, the fine pieces of whole grain cereal look like dried up bits of fried ground beef. I will say that I enjoyed the lovely recipe for adding Grape-Nuts to make a parfait. Adding Grape-Nuts to yogurt seems to be a very common and popular practice, from what I hear. Side note: Grape-Nuts contains neither grapes or nuts…Snackability

I’m giving Grape-Nuts 1 spoon for snackability, only because I couldn’t give it anything less. Due to the fine pieces of cereal, it is far too hard to eat dry, without mixing it in yogurt. For one, your hand would serve as a sifter, so each bite you take would be like you’re panning for gold. Secondly, the cereal dry is actually about as hard as gold. If you snack on grape Nuts, just by themselves, then I don’t know what to say, other than I’ll pray for you. Eating a handful of this cereal dry has to be like the farm dog who enjoys a spring afternoon chewing on gravel

Structural Integrity

Without a doubt, if there’s one category where Grape-Nuts is the best it’s in structural integrity. These small pieces of oats are so dense that they absorb milk AND STILL are crunchy for a good while after. The cereal-per-square-inch of the box has to be more than any other. It reminds me of holding a box of minute rice. Don’t quote me on this, but I’m pretty sure you could use Grape-Nuts as part of footings for a building and be stable during an earthquake. With each bite I take, I feel like I’ve ate a food pyramid’s worth of grains.

Cereal Concept

As a concept goes, it’s as bland as you get. It’s a box full of whole grain and nothing but the grain. In essence, it’s a $4 box of colon cleansing gravel masquerading as cereal. But, if you’re into eating super healthy cereal, then I suppose this is right up your alley.

Flavor

Upon opening the box, it’s as if they captured the smell of the cardboard and packaged it. Once I began eating it, it really didn’t have a flavor. To me, it was just bland, crunchy and tasted like plain granola. I was half-tempted to add sugar, but I wanted to keep this review’s integrity in mind. The texture and taste just wasn’t for me. Each bite I took had me feeling healthier and I didn’t like it. Call me old fashion, but if I’m eating cereal, it’s going to be not-so-healthy.

Final Thoughts

I gave Grape-Nuts another chance and what I took away from the experience is that I still do not like it. It still tastes like I remembered and the texture of it is so rough and tough.Think of Grape-Nuts as the grizzled, old, rough-around the edges uncle to Cap’n Crunch. He has a heart of gold, but you can just tell he’s seen some stuff during his lifetime.

When I want a healthy cereal to eat, I will find a different option in the cereal aisle.